Sweet Tea Shirt — "Today I'm a Serious Goose" Funny Goose Tee

A Sweet Tea Shirt With a Goose Doing the Talking

Straw hat pushed back, gingham knotted at the neck, one eye closed in a wink, and a mason jar of sweet tea raised like she has nowhere to be. "Today I'm a Serious Goose" is a sweet tea shirt that argues with its own headline — and loses on purpose.

It is the porch version of Southern, not the polished one: bare boards, wildflowers coming up through the cracks, and a bird who has clearly been sitting there a while.

The Nitty-Gritty

• Fabric: Gildan 64000 Softstyle, 100% ring-spun US cotton at 4.5 oz/yd²
• Print: full-color direct-to-garment, inked into the fibers, not a vinyl patch
• Fit: unisex, true to size, S–3XL, taped shoulders, ribbed collar
• Collar label: our printed Bluegrass Roots Basics mark — no itchy tag
• Colors: Light Pink, Sand, Mint Green, Coral Silk, Sky, and Iris

The Design Up Close

Warm painterly rendering with real light and shadow, a gingham bandana, and cowgirl boots on a torn scrap of porch board. The Bluegrass Roots mark hangs off the tea jar as a small twine-tied kraft tag, easy to miss on the first look.

Frequently Asked Questions

What makes this a sweet tea shirt?

The goose is holding a mason jar of sweet tea with a striped paper straw, tied off with twine the way it gets served on a porch in July. The tea is the center of the scene, not a background detail.

Is this shirt actually funny or just cute?

It leans genuinely funny. The headline says serious while the goose is winking under a straw hat, so the joke reads on sight without the wearer having to explain it.

Is this shirt true to size?

Yes. It is a unisex Gildan Softstyle cut that runs true to size in S through 3XL, soft ring-spun cotton with taped shoulders and a ribbed collar.

What colors does this shirt come in?

Light Pink, Sand, Mint Green, Coral Silk, Sky, and Iris — a soft pastel range built specifically for the women's Bluegrass Roots Basics line.

Runs alongside "Porch Goose Mom" in the Bluegrass Roots Basics women's line — same soft blank, same collar label.

More reading: what Southern hospitality actually means and a translation guide to “bless your heart”.