Funny Security Sign — It's Loud, It's Loaded, Answers To Honey

The Security System Every Country House Already Has

A carved funny security sign that gets the joke landed in three lines. Home protected by a security system — it's loud, it's loaded, and it answers to Honey. Every household knows exactly who Honey is, and it is never the one who bought the sign.

Cut Into the Wood, Not Printed On It

The letters are CNC-carved down through the stain into raw pine, so what you are reading is actual depth, not ink. Run a thumb across it. That pale-against-dark contrast is why it still reads across a dim room, and why it will not chip, peel, fade or bubble the way printed decor does by year two.

Where It Ends Up

• Front porch — beside the door, fair warning given
• Entryway — read on the way in
• Garage or shop — above the bench
• Mudroom — over the hooks

The Specs

• Solid locally-sourced pine or poplar from an Amish mill — never MDF
• Three sizes: Small 16" x 3.5", Medium 24" x 5.5", Large 30" x 7.25"
• 20 hand-applied stain and paint finishes
• CNC-carved lettering — never printed, never vinyl, never a decal
• Sawtooth hanger pre-installed; handmade in Kentucky, free U.S. shipping

For The House With A Honey

Housewarmings, anniversaries, anyone whose partner runs the place and knows it. Warm walnut, three carved lines. Ships free in the U.S.