What does this sign say?

It reads “My Court Date Is Pending”, carved into the wood and hand-stained. The wording is fixed — this design is not personalised, so what you see is what arrives.

Where does this go in a kitchen?

Above the sink and on the pantry door are the two most common spots. Above a range it needs to clear the hood; a carved and sealed sign handles kitchen steam better than a paper-faced board, which bubbles at the corners inside a year.

Is it easy to read from across a room?

The carving throws a real shadow, which is what makes it legible at distance. The Medium at 24" x 5.5" reads clearly across a normal kitchen; the Small is better close up.

How long does it take to arrive?

Each sign is made to order rather than pulled from a shelf, and ships free within the US. Most leave the shop in 5–7 business days and you get tracking as soon as yours is on its way.

What sizes does it come in?

Three: Small at 16" x 3.5", Medium at 24" x 5.5", and Large at 30" x 7.25". The Small suits a narrow wall or a shelf lean, the Medium is the one most people choose, and the Large is sized to anchor a wall on its own.

Funny Coffee Sign | Court Date Pending Carved Wood

The Funny Coffee Sign With a Criminal Record

I tried to start a day without coffee once. My court date is pending. This carved funny coffee sign files the full confession in solid Kentucky wood — the story of one caffeine-free morning and its legal consequences, hung where tomorrow's dose gets poured.

Carved Testimony, Not Printed Hearsay

Printed coffee jokes fade faster than a morning buzz. This one is CNC-carved deep into pine or poplar and hand-stained — twenty finishes from espresso-dark to cream — so the punchline keeps its edge through years of steam and Monday mornings.

Where the Defense Rests

Coffee bar or espresso station — exhibit A
Kitchen wall — over the machine that keeps you lawful
Office kitchenette — the whole floor pleads guilty
Breakfast nook — fair warning before conversation

The Specs

Solid locally-sourced pine or poplar — never MDF
Three sizes: Small 16" x 3.5", Classic 24" x 5.5", Bold 30" x 7.5"
20 hand-applied stain and paint finishes
CNC-carved lettering — never printed, never vinyl
Sawtooth hanger pre-installed; handmade in Kentucky, free U.S. shipping

For the Caffeinated and the At-Risk

Housewarmings, work-friend birthdays, the person whose mug is a load-bearing accessory — this funny coffee sign lands every time. Browse our other carved kitchen and coffee signs; the wall can hold a full docket. Three sizes serve every wall from breakfast nook to office kitchenette, twenty finishes match any scheme, and the sawtooth hanger arrives pre-installed — no assembly required before caffeine, ever.

The Wine Bar Sign is the one people usually hang across from it, reading “Give Me Coffee and Wine”.

Funny Coffee Sign — My Court Date Is Pending | Carved Wood

The Funny Coffee Sign With a Criminal Record

Carved Testimony, Not Printed Hearsay

Where the Defense Rests

The Specs

For the Caffeinated and the At-Risk

Real Wood. Real Craft.

V-Carved, Not Vinyl

Handmade in Kentucky

5,000+ 5-Star Reviews

Size Comparison

Large

Medium

Small

Large

Medium

Small