Gifts for Someone Starting Chemo When You Don't Know What to Say | Bluegrass Gifts

The First Week of Chemo Is Mostly Waiting Rooms and Cold Chairs

When someone you love is starting chemo, you want to fix something, and you cannot fix the diagnosis. So you look up gifts for someone starting chemo and find the same care-package list a hundred times over. Most of it was written for a hospital stay. Chemo usually is not one.

The best gifts for someone starting chemo are quiet and practical: something warm for the infusion chair, something soft for the days at home afterward, and help that takes a chore off their plate. Skip strong scents, anything that needs looking after, and anything that tells them how to feel.

If their faith is part of how they are facing this, our Faith Over Fear shirt, a gift for someone starting chemo who holds on to Isaiah 41:10, is one honest suggestion. FAITH sits on top as a solid block of carved stone, and FEAR cracks apart underneath it. It goes on with sweatpants on a hard morning and says what they may not have the breath to say.

For most people, chemo looks like this: a stretch of time in a recliner with a line in one arm, sometimes under an hour and sometimes most of the day, then a ride home, then a run of days that are supposed to be ordinary and are not. A good gift fits one part of that. The best ones fit the whole stretch.

Gifts for Someone Starting Chemo Should Fit the Chair, the Couch or the Calendar

Before you buy anything, picture the three places this person is about to spend their time. The chair is the infusion room: often kept cool, with one arm tied up and not much to do but wait. The couch is the days afterward at home, when they may be tired, queasy, or simply done with company. The calendar is everything else that keeps right on happening: supper, laundry, rides, kids, the dog and the bills.

Then ask yourself three plain questions. Do they want to talk about it, or would they rather you treat them like normal? Who is already helping, and with what? And how do they handle hard things: with prayer, with jokes, with lists, or by going quiet? A private person who goes quiet does not want a care package that announces itself in the waiting room. A list person will be glad of a gas card and a meal schedule. A person of strong faith may want something that says it plainly.

That last person is who our shirt is for, and it is a couch-days gift more than a chair-day gift. It is soft, it asks nothing of them, and they can wear it to the grocery store on a good afternoon without explaining anything to anybody.

◆ From the Workshop: When we picked the blank for our Bluegrass Roots faith shirts, we went with the Gildan 64000 Softstyle in 100% ring-spun US cotton at 4.5 oz. Ring-spun cotton is twisted finer before it is knit, which is why it feels smoother against the skin than a standard heavyweight tee. Our Bluegrass Roots mark goes inside the collar as a printed label instead of a sewn-in tag, so there is nothing to scratch the back of the neck. The design is printed direct-to-garment, inked into the fibers rather than laid on top as a vinyl patch, so the front stays as soft and flexible as the rest of the shirt.

A Chemo Week Checklist, Sorted by Where It Gets Used

Here is the list we would hand a friend who asked what to bring. It is sorted by where each thing actually gets used, because a lap blanket and a casserole are both good gifts, just not in the same room.

For the chair

• A soft throw or lap blanket that is theirs, not the clinic's
• Warm socks with grips on the bottom
• A refillable water bottle with a straw, easy to use one-handed
• Unscented lip balm
• Headphones and a long phone charging cord, since the outlet is never where the chair is
• A small notebook for questions, doses and what the nurse said
• A zip-front hoodie or a button-front shirt if they have a port, so it can be reached without undressing

For the couch

• Unscented lotion for dry hands
• Soft, loose clothes they can nap in or run an errand in
• A soft knit cap for a cold head at night, if their treatment is likely to thin their hair
• Peppermints or ginger chews, if they already like them
• A puzzle book, a large-print word search, or a short stack of easy reading
• A shirt with a verse that means something to them, like the Faith Over Fear tee

For the calendar

• A meal schedule set up for them, with dishes that freeze well
• Rides to treatment, with the dates written down on paper
• Gas cards, or a parking pass if the center charges for the garage
• One named chore, done every week: the mowing, the laundry, the school pickup
• A card that says you are praying for them and does not ask for a reply

The calendar list is the one people forget, and it is often the one that helps most. We wrote a whole piece on meaningful gifts for someone going through a hard time that actually help, and the same rule holds here: a named chore beats an open offer every time.

Gifts for Someone Starting Chemo That Look Kind but Land Wrong

Some gifts are well meant and still miss. The most common one is anything strongly scented. A lot of people find that smells hit harder during treatment, so the perfumed lotion, the scented candle and the bath set end up pushed to the back of a closet. We sell wax melts ourselves, and we would not send them to someone in their first round. Pick unscented, or wait and ask.

Fresh flowers are lovely, but some infusion centers and cancer floors ask visitors not to bring them, so call before you carry a bouquet in. Plants, a new pet, or anything that needs watering, feeding or tending is one more job on a list that is already long. Books about miracle diets or beating cancer by sheer willpower can read like a grade on how they are doing. And "let me know if you need anything" sounds generous but hands them the work of asking. Say "I am bringing supper Thursday" instead, and then bring it.

One more, and it is about our own shirt. If they have a port in the upper chest, a crew-neck tee is not the thing to wear to an infusion, because the nurse needs to get to that port. Save the shirt for the other days of the week. That is most of them.

Where a Faith Over Fear Shirt Earns Its Place

Give the shirt when faith is already part of how they are talking about this. If they have Isaiah 41:10 underlined, if they have asked their Sunday school class to pray, if they end their texts with "God's got this," it will mean something. In the King James the verse begins, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God." That is a lot of comfort for the front of a T-shirt, and it is meant to be. If they are angry with God or unsure right now, skip it. That is allowed too, and a good blanket will do more.

It is a unisex tee that runs true to size from XS to 5XL, in Black, Maroon, Navy, Dark Chocolate and Forest Green. If you are unsure of the size, go with the one they wear in a soft everyday tee; a little room is no bad thing on a tired day. It is $23.95 and ships free in the U.S. We are a small Kentucky shop with 5,000+ customer reviews. We design our Bluegrass Roots shirts in our Kentucky workshop, and our print partner prints and ships each one when it is ordered.

If they would rather keep it quieter, lay our Christian T-shirts side by side and pick the one with the smallest words, because a shirt they wear beats a louder one that stays folded. And for the day treatment ends, we wrote about a New Beginnings sign for someone starting over, which makes a good second gift to have ready in the closet.

If you are packing a bag for their first day, put the blanket and the water bottle in it, and keep the shirt back for the first quiet afternoon at home. The Faith Over Fear Isaiah 41:10 shirt will be there when they are ready for it.

Frequently Asked Questions

What to get a friend who's going through chemo?

Get your friend something that fits where they will spend their time: a soft blanket, warm socks and a water bottle for the infusion chair, unscented comforts for the days at home, and real help such as meals or rides. Pair the gift with a specific offer instead of an open one. If faith matters to them, a verse they hold on to, worn or kept close, can mean more than another blanket. Keep everything unscented and low-maintenance.

What to put in a gift basket for someone starting chemo?

A good chemo gift basket holds a soft lap blanket, warm socks with grips, a refillable water bottle with a straw, unscented lip balm and lotion, a long phone charging cord and a small notebook for questions. Add one thing for the days at home, like a puzzle book or a soft shirt. Leave out candles, perfume and anything strongly scented. A note with a specific offer of help is the best thing in it.

What sizes and colors does the Faith Over Fear shirt come in?

The Faith Over Fear shirt is a unisex tee that runs true to size from XS to 5XL, in Black, Maroon, Navy, Dark Chocolate and Forest Green. It is a Gildan 64000 Softstyle in 100% ring-spun US cotton at 4.5 oz, with taped shoulders and a ribbed collar. The collar label is printed, so there is no tag to scratch the neck. It is $23.95 and ships free in the U.S.