Protected by Fuck Around and Find Out — Wooden Surveillance Sign

This Property Is Protected by Fuck Around and Find Out

Forget the alarm company. This carved wooden surveillance sign announces the security system that has never been defeated: fuck around and find out. Modeled on the classic 'Protected By' security placard — except honest. 24/7 monitoring by consequences. Response time: immediate.

Carved Wood, Not Another Metal Placard

Every other FAFO surveillance sign out there is a thin printed metal rectangle. This one is CNC-carved into solid Kentucky pine or poplar, stained and sealed by hand. The lettering is cut deep into the wood — no vinyl, no print, nothing to fade or peel where it hangs.

Where to Post It

• Front porch or gate — where a security sign belongs, saying what the camera brand ones only imply
• Driveway or fence line — covered spots recommended
• Garage, shop, or barn — official notice for anyone who touches the tools
• Home bar or man cave — jurisdiction extends indoors

The Specs

• Solid locally-sourced wood — never MDF
• Three sizes: Small 16" x 3.5", Classic 24" x 5.5", Bold 30" x 7.5"
• 20 hand-applied stain and paint finishes
• Sawtooth hanger pre-installed
• Handmade in Kentucky, USA — free U.S. shipping

The Perfect Warning Gift

For the neighbor with the doorbell camera and the opinions, the new homeowner, the uncle whose porch is his kingdom, or anyone whose home security policy has always been unwritten until now. It reads like a joke and holds like a promise — which is exactly the point.

The Fuck Around and Find Out Sign is the natural companion to this one.