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Handmade in Kentucky
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5,000+ Reviews
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Real Wood. Real Craft.

Here's what makes every sign different from the vinyl stuff you'll find in big box stores.

V-Carved, Not Vinyl

The letters are literally cut into the wood with a CNC machine. Real depth, real shadows, no peeling.

Handmade in Kentucky

Every sign is cut, carved, stained, and sealed by hand in our Rineyville, Kentucky workshop.

5,000+ 5-Star Reviews

Real photos from real customers. Our signs are hanging in homes from Oregon to Maine.

Size Comparison

All three sizes shown at actual scale so you can see the real difference.

Large

30" × 7.25"

HOME SWEET HOME

Medium

24" × 5.5"

Most Popular

Small

16" × 3.5"

BLESSED

Large

30" × 7.25"

Over couches, chairs, or mantles — a real statement piece

Small

16" × 3.5"

Shelf sitter, desk accent, or small wall decor piece

All sizes shown at the same scale. Not sure which to pick? Medium is our most popular choice.

This rustic wooden sign effectively deters unwanted solicitors while welcoming kids selling cookies or fundraisers. Customers praised the deep carved lettering, weathered gray finish, and solid craftsmanship that "looks expensive." Most found it hilarious and a conversation starter. Minor concerns included size visibility from the street and potential need for weather sealant.

  • The carved lettering is really sharp and clear, looks like it'll hold up well outside.
  • The wood has nice depth to it and looks expensive hanging on our front porch.
  • It's hilarious, functional, AND actually looks nice on the porch - not tacky at all.
Porch (positive)Kids (positive)Lettering (positive)Craftsmanship (positive)Wood (positive)
  • 5 stars: 12 (75%)
  • 4 stars: 3 (19%)
  • 3 stars: 1 (6%)
  • 2 stars: 0 (0%)
  • 1 star: 0 (0%)
M
Melissa Ramirez
Cute concept, might need sealant

Really cute and funny, exactly what I wanted. Only thing is after a few months of rain I'm noticing the bottom edge starting to show some weathering. I probably should've sealed it first but I figured it was outdoor wood. Still looks decent tho!

J
Joshua White
Good idea but runs small visually

The sign is nice quality but I wish it was bigger. From the street it's kind of hard to read unless someone walks right up to the door. Maybe if I'd gone with a larger size it would've worked better. The wood itself is lovely though, just might not be visible enough for what you're trying to accomplish.

R
Richard Gonzalez
Best housewarming gift ever

Bought this for my brother who just moved into his first house. He's always complaining about door-to-door salesmen, so this was perfect. The lettering is carved pretty deep into the wood so it's easy to read from the street. He put it up immediately and said it's already saved him from three different pitch people.

C
Charles Bailey
Perfect grandpa gift for his new place

My grandpa moved to a quiet neighborhood and kept getting bothered by solicitors. I found this sign and it made him crack up - he's not always easy to make laugh. The carved lettering is really sharp and clear, looks like it'll hold up well outside. He said it's the best gift I've given him in years.

G
Gary Allen
Finally, a sign that gets me

As a parent of three, I absolutely needed this. Yes to Girl Scout cookies, lemonade stands, and neighborhood kids selling whatever for school fundraisers. No to solar panel companies at 7pm. The wood has nice depth to it and looks expensive hanging on our front porch.

E
Elizabeth Gonzalez
Neighbors won't stop talking about it

Got this as a joke for my dad's 60th birthday since he's always grumpy about unwanted visitors. Turns out he actually loves it! We hung it on his shed door and now all the neighborhood kids think he's the coolest guy on the block. The craftsmanship is solid - you can tell its real wood, not that cheap plastic stuff.

J
Jason Jackson
Girl Scout cookies just got easier

My daughters sell cookies every year and I was tired of telling strangers we weren't interested. This sign is hilarious and actually works! Hung it right by the doorbell and parents with kids still knock, but the adults skip us now. The wood stain is a nice weathered gray that matches our porch perfectly.

J
Jacob Allen
Finally a sign that gets it

My front porch needed something with personality and this nailed it. The wood stain is a really nice weathered gray that looks way more expensive than it cost, and the carved lettering is deep enough that you can actually feel the letters when you run your hand over it. Got it as a housewarming gift and honestly it's become a conversation starter with every visitor. Kids in the neighborhood think it's hilarious.

D
David Davis
Laughed out loud when I opened it

Bought this for my brother who's constantly complaining about door-to-door salespeople. He hung it up the day it arrived. The execution is clean—the wood grain really shows through on the back, and it's surprisingly sturdy. Even my nieces noticed it and asked to read it out loud, which was exactly the reaction we were going for lol.

C
Chloe Turner
My kids think im cool now

Put this up and suddenly neighborhood kids are visiting more, not less! They think the sign is hilarious. My 8-year-old's friend even brought her to ring the doorbell on purpose to see the sign. The wood carving is really detailed and professional looking, makes it feel like a real business sign.

C
Charlotte Martinez
This made my realtor laugh during showing

We were selling our house and had this hung up as a joke. Three different agents mentioned how memorable and charming it was. Buyers loved it so much they asked if we'd leave it! The rustic wood grain really adds character to the entrance - way better than a basic boring no soliciting sign.

S
Scott Roberts
Exactly what our rental needed

We manage a small rental property and guests kept asking about the no soliciting situation. This sign is funny, clear, and solves the problem without being rude. It's holding up great after 6 months of sun and weather. The rustic style fits the cottage vibe perfectly.

A
Abigail Lewis
Great message, minor shipping wear

The sign arrived with a small ding on one corner from shipping, but honestly it adds to the rustic charm so I'm not even mad about it. Hung it next to my mailbox and it's the most personality that side of my house has ever had. Wood quality is solid and the paint/stain combo looks professional. My only wish is that it was slightly bigger, but that's being picky.

R
Rebecca Cook
Better than expected honestly

Gave this to my parents as a gag gift because they're softies when neighborhood kids come around selling cookies and doing fundraisers. They actually love it though—it's hanging on their porch rail now and looks genuinely tasteful, not cheesy. The wood has real character and depth to it. Even people who don't get the joke think it looks nice.

R
Richard Moore
Love the message, shipping took forever

The sign itself is really well made with solid wood construction and a nice rustic finish. My only complaint is it took almost 3 weeks to arrive when the listing said 5-7 days. But honestly it was worth the wait - its the first thing people comment on when they visit our house now.

M
Melissa Rogers
Selling it as a group gift next

Bought one for myself and now three of my friends want it too. Its hilarious, functional, AND actually looks nice on the porch - not tacky at all. The wood finish is way nicer than I expected for the price. Already ordered three more to give out at Christmas.