What does this sign say?

It reads “I Will Cut You”, carved into the wood and hand-stained. The wording is fixed — this design is not personalised, so what you see is what arrives.

Where does this go in a kitchen?

Above the sink and on the pantry door are the two most common spots. Above a range it needs to clear the hood; a carved and sealed sign handles kitchen steam better than a paper-faced board, which bubbles at the corners inside a year.

Is it easy to read from across a room?

The carving throws a real shadow, which is what makes it legible at distance. The Medium at 24" x 5.5" reads clearly across a normal kitchen; the Small is better close up.

What sizes does it come in?

Three: Small at 16" x 3.5", Medium at 24" x 5.5", and Large at 30" x 7.25". The Small suits a narrow wall or a shelf lean, the Medium is the one most people choose, and the Large is sized to anchor a wall on its own.

What finishes can I choose from?

Twenty. Stains run from Early American and Dark Walnut through Briarsmoke, Weathered Gray and Aged Barrel, and there are solid paints in White, Black and Gray. Every one is hand-applied, so the grain still reads through the stains.

Cooking Sign | I Will Cut You Sassy Kitchen Carved

The Cooking Sign That Guards the Kitchen

Every kitchen has a knife block; this one has a spokesperson. Our carved cooking sign posts the head chef's security policy — I Will Cut You — deep-cut into solid Kentucky wood, technically about vegetables, effectively about boundaries.

Sharp Message, Sharper Craft

A threat this festive deserves proper mounting. Every letter is CNC-carved into solid pine or poplar and hand-stained in one of twenty finishes — cutting-board butcher tones to warning-sign white. It survives steam, splatter, and everyone who reached over the pot uninvited.

Where Security Posts

Above the stove — the restricted airspace, marked
By the knife block — thematic reinforcement
Pantry door — guarding the strategic snack reserve
Kitchen entry — screening visitors at the border

The Specs

Solid locally-sourced pine or poplar — never MDF
Three sizes: Small 16" x 3.5", Classic 24" x 5.5", Bold 30" x 7.5"
20 hand-applied stain and paint finishes
CNC-carved lettering — never printed, never vinyl
Sawtooth hanger pre-installed; handmade in Kentucky, free U.S. shipping

The Gift for the Chef Who Runs a Tight Ship

Mother's Day, housewarmings, the friend whose kitchen has exactly one boss and everyone knows her name — this is the sassy kitchen decor that says trespassers will be diced. Three carved sizes, twenty hand-applied finishes, free U.S. shipping with the sawtooth hanger pre-installed. Pair it with our other funny kitchen signs and arm the whole galley. The small size guards a shelf beside the cookbooks; the 30-inch Bold secures the entire kitchen wall, visible from every point of unauthorized entry.

Working on the same room? The Family Kitchen Sign takes the other wall with “Kitchens Bring Families Together”.

Cooking Sign — I Will Cut You | Funny Sassy Kitchen Decor

The Cooking Sign That Guards the Kitchen

Sharp Message, Sharper Craft

Where Security Posts

The Specs

The Gift for the Chef Who Runs a Tight Ship

Real Wood. Real Craft.

V-Carved, Not Vinyl

Handmade in Kentucky

5,000+ 5-Star Reviews

Size Comparison

Large

Medium

Small

Large

Medium

Small