{"product_id":"personalized-retirement-sign","title":"Personalized Retirement Sign — Officially Retired, Carved Wood","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Last Nameplate They'll Ever Need\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eForty years of name badges and cubicle plates, and the best title arrives on the way out. Our \u003cstrong\u003epersonalized retirement sign\u003c\/strong\u003e carves the retiree's name in bold slab capitals over OFFICIALLY RETIRED, with EVERY DAY IS SATURDAY along the bottom — solid wood, carved letters, zero meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eParty Prop First, Wall Piece Forever\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt stands on the gift table at the retirement party, shows up in every photo, then goes home to the workshop, the lake place or the home office that's about to become a hammock room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSay It Their Way\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe name\u003c\/strong\u003e — full name, nickname, or Coach \/ Doc \/ Sarge\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe middle line\u003c\/strong\u003e — Officially Retired, Est. 2026, or Gone Fishin'\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe bottom line\u003c\/strong\u003e — Every Day Is Saturday, The Tan Starts Now, Ask Somebody Else\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eHow Your Sign Gets Made\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eYou fill in the lines above\u003c\/strong\u003e — exactly the words you want carved.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eA real person reads your order\u003c\/strong\u003e before anything meets the saw, spelling checked against what you typed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWe carve it into solid wood\u003c\/strong\u003e in our Kentucky shop, hand-apply your finish and ship it free: 2–7 business days in the shop, then 2–5 days to reach you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSolid pine for the stains, poplar for the paints — never MDF\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThree sizes: Small 16\" × 3.5\", Medium 24\" × 5.5\", Large 30\" × 7.25\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e20 hand-applied stain and paint finishes; the carved letters stay natural wood\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour words are CNC-carved into the board — never printed, never vinyl\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSawtooth hanger installed; made in our Kentucky shop; free U.S. shipping\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Group Gift That Beats a Card\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003ePass the hat around the office and give the thing that actually gets hung. 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