{"product_id":"funny-no-trespassing-sign-trespassers-offered-bourbon","title":"Funny No Trespassing Sign — Trespassers Offered Bourbon","description":"\u003ch2\u003eHospitality And A Warning, In That Order\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eA \u003cstrong\u003efunny no trespassing sign\u003c\/strong\u003e that gets the sequence right. Trespassers will be offered bourbon — then shot. Two kinds of shot, and the reader works out which one is meant somewhere around the second line. It is the most Kentucky way there is to say come on up the drive.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCut Into the Wood, Not Printed On It\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe letters are CNC-carved down through the stain into raw pine, so what you are reading is actual depth, not ink. Run a thumb across it. That pale-against-dark contrast is why it still reads across a dim room, and why it will not chip, peel, fade or bubble the way printed decor does by year two.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhere It Ends Up\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFront porch\u003c\/strong\u003e — first thing anyone reads\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGate or fence post\u003c\/strong\u003e — at the end of the drive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCabin or camp\u003c\/strong\u003e — where the rules are informal\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHome bar\u003c\/strong\u003e — the follow-through on the promise\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSolid locally-sourced pine or poplar from an Amish mill — never MDF\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThree sizes: Small 16\" x 3.5\", Medium 24\" x 5.5\", Large 30\" x 7.25\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e20 hand-applied stain and paint finishes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCNC-carved lettering — never printed, never vinyl, never a decal\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSawtooth hanger pre-installed; handmade in Kentucky, free U.S. shipping\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFor The Property With A Sense Of Humor\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eHousewarmings, cabin gifts, land-buying celebrations, or anyone whose driveway is long enough to need a sign. Barn red with pale carved letters reads from the road. 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