{"product_id":"coworker-wine-glass-certificate-of-survival","title":"Coworker Wine Glass — Certificate of Survival","description":"\u003ch2\u003eCertificate of Survival\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere was a reorg, a system migration, and a meeting that should have been an email every single week. Nobody got a plaque. This engraved \u003cstrong\u003ecoworker wine glass\u003c\/strong\u003e issues the award that HR never did.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eDeadpan By Design\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eCERTIFICATE OF sits small in typewriter capitals above SURVIVAL in oversized condensed type, with ANOTHER QUARTER and the quiet verdict NOBODY GOT FIRED underneath. It is laid out like an office document, which is what makes it funny on a desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWho Has Earned One\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe desk next to yours\u003c\/strong\u003e — the only person who saw it all\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSecret Santa and white elephant\u003c\/strong\u003e, where it always wins the table\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eA leaving do\u003c\/strong\u003e for someone escaping to a better job\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEnd of quarter\u003c\/strong\u003e, whenever the number finally lands\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e11.5 oz stemless wine glass\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePermanent deep-frost laser engraving — never printed, never vinyl\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade to order in 2–7 business days, ships free\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTop-rack dishwasher safe (hand wash keeps the etch brightest)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eOrder For the Team\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eAdd one per survivor and they ship together, with no names to collect. If the occasion is a genuine retirement rather than a quarter, our engraved retirement glasses put their years of service on the front.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eDesk-Proof\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo stem to snap in the office dishwasher, a flat base that will not tip across a crowded desk, and 11.5 oz of capacity for a Friday that has earned it. The lettering is engraved into the glass rather than printed, so it outlasts the reorg, the rebrand, and whichever software migration is currently being described as seamless.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11.5oz","offer_id":62143826788722,"sku":"19113813306091200330","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0887\/1179\/0962\/files\/14841506242791544691_2048_custom.jpg?v=1785752761","url":"https:\/\/bluegrassgifts.com\/products\/coworker-wine-glass-certificate-of-survival","provider":"BlueGrassGifts","version":"1.0","type":"link"}