{"product_id":"adulting-sign-bourbon-because-adulting-is-hard","title":"Adulting Sign — Bourbon Because Adulting Is Hard","description":"\u003ch2\u003eThe Most Honest Thing On The Bar\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn \u003cstrong\u003eadulting sign\u003c\/strong\u003e that skips the inspirational part. BOURBON in letters you can read from the doorway, and underneath, quietly, the reason. Nobody warned any of us how much of adulthood is paperwork and scheduling.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eCut Into the Wood, Not Printed On It\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe letters are CNC-carved down through the stain into raw pine, so what you are reading is actual depth, not ink. Run a thumb across it. That pale-against-dark contrast is why it still reads across a dim room, and why it will not chip, peel, fade or bubble the way printed decor does by year two.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhere It Ends Up\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHome bar\u003c\/strong\u003e — above the bottle shelf\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBar cart\u003c\/strong\u003e — small size, full-size opinion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eKitchen counter\u003c\/strong\u003e — end of a long Tuesday\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDen or basement bar\u003c\/strong\u003e — where the day gets set down\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Specs\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSolid locally-sourced pine or poplar from an Amish mill — never MDF\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThree sizes: Small 16\" x 3.5\", Medium 24\" x 5.5\", Large 30\" x 7.25\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e20 hand-applied stain and paint finishes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCNC-carved lettering — never printed, never vinyl, never a decal\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSawtooth hanger pre-installed; handmade in Kentucky, free U.S. shipping\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFor Whoever Is Holding It All Together\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eHousewarmings, new jobs, first mortgages, birthdays for someone deep in the paperwork years. Warm walnut with pale carved letters. 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